Almost single

I am almost single.....Well,well,well,I m still happily married,but bringing up my son almost single handedly and trust me its an enormous task.Hats off to all single mothers.Being entrusted with the responsibility of an aspergers son makes it all difficult and then fathers play an important role in healthy upbringing of a male child,doctors told me.But can't turn off face from the reality that for few months more I have to handle it all alone .My main concern is how to do it all without ignoring the importance of father in his life.But boys are different,they need cricket,football,boxing,going out on a two wheeler and cars....In short they need "action" and un luckily I am not action oriented at all...:-( .I am one of those females who are far away from all possible sorts of action,who live in the mushy mushy world of love and romance and who are still a child a heart,dying to play with their dolls and just forget the nitty gritties of life and live free from onerous responsibilities of this mad mad world....in their fairy tale world.
The day kabir's diagnosis was made,I was shaken out of my fairy tale world,which I had led till then despite job and family responsibilties.But being a stubborn and determined taurean I refused to kill enjoying the simple joys of life and did not forget to smile at the harsh realities of life.Lot of credit goes to my husband,my mother,my sister and choicest of friends,,who have stood by me,whether they acceptedthe diagnosis or not.Yes,few of them still believe that kabir is just a case of developmental delay.I and my husband gave full respect to their opinions but didnt allow it to prejudice our action plan.We started with speech therapy as kabir wasnt verbal till two and a half years of age and it was heart breaking as well as horrifying.Then we started visits to the special educator,that was very motivating and then to deal with kabir's sensory issues we started occupational therapy.
It was manageable till my husband was in India,though he used to shuttle between mumbai and pune.Once he left for abroad,for a project,realities struck me even harder.I was alone with entire responsibility of right development of my son and that too with such uncertain and unknown paths and maneouveres .I fought my sense of inadequacy and fears of facing this hostile city and tried to manage alone.There were developments and progresses ,kabir became verbal.He started well at his pre-school and currently he is in senior kg.He will be promoted to class 1 this june onwards.With lot of free time in hand i have become lazy.I still day dream a lot and since I don't keep very good health,keep fighting those issues too.At such occasions I feel as if living life of a single mother,managing everything all alone,with no shoulder to cry upon...and occasionally get this feeling of life not being fair to me.At forty,this is not the life I had dreamed of.
But ,then being the stubborn one ,the way I am,I keep reminding myself that a new horizon is waiting for me and my family,when we will be together and till then I am Almost Single...free to enjoy life the way I can after discharging my duties and responsibilities.I am not regretting this brief spell of being alone....