Beware! the Single Moms Are Here to Claim Their Due
(Credit:Indian single mother page;Facebook)
Oh! You are a single mother! Tch! Tch! Chuckles their mental voice. The smile is replaced by a frown and a look of sympathy. I feel like either banging their head or hammering out their mentality, else making them vanish. Why do people assume that being a single mother is a curse or even a sin and such mothers are the sinners! I have met countless people with varied backgrounds and personalities but sadly the similar response. Not just in India but also abroad. It is truly a global family mindset, male and females alike but more so among males.
Aha! Did I confuse you? Did you think that here one more goes on ga, ga, ga about woman empowerment! No. I am not among those. But before I enlighten you further, let me elaborate,”What a single mother is in my view.” A mother who is carrying on the job of parenting alone, where due to death of spouse, separation or divorce or when the other partner is an absentee parent. Now here with the use of the term absentee parent and a concept of being a single mom is by choice, is where I push through my idea of the sunny side of being a single mother in today’s time and how powerful they can be.
A woman can be a single mother by choice too.
Yes, If a woman decides to shoulder the responsibility of bringing up the child/children single handedly, sharing or not sharing the financial responsibility with the spouse. The responsibility of finance is not the only part of parenting.Daily, moment by moment a parent grooms the child. The habits, personality, manners, values, beliefs, physical, mental, psychological, moral well being….everything matters especially when it is so easy to get distracted. The stakes are too high and rewards hardly any except the satisfaction and yes! It matters. The woman who takes responsibility here is not doing a mean task. She is more powerful than a CEO of a MNC but she can’t shine too bright for the fear that the child may wilt and she cannot be too adjusting else what is at stake is not an industry but a future and all the associated futures.
It is walking a thin line, being prepared for all the blames and the brickbats yet not expecting any accolades not even recognition. Her success and victory is the success of the child/children. While I say this, I am not trying to glorify the single mothers and they may or may not sacrifice the worldly comforts and their ambitions. Whatever may be the situation or circumstances that may create or lead to single motherhood ,having ambitions makes the job even more taxing and tricky but the females take on the task, happily or unhappily, most often not being left with the choice. But if the partner willingly or unwillingly takes one responsibility and the other, another one, the job and the responsibilities both are demanding ,exhausting yet satisfying.
(Credit:Surviving as a single parent-Parents.com)
If the Queen of Jhansi https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rani_of_Jhansi could fight a battle for liberation of Jhansi against the huge British army while carrying Damodar Rao, a baby on her back this contemporary life is no less than this that real battle, just the demands are varied, reasons are variable and the weapons are abstract, virtual ,evolving constantly and energy sapping .
We have become demanding not just for others but for ourselves too. And imagine while a mom can be patting her back in thoughts and spirits, celebrating every little achievement or /and accomplishments and then that frown or the look in the eyes of the opponent crashes her morale or on the other side she may take out that invisible dagger or the boxing gloves to deliver a knockout punch.
So stop pitying the single mothers.It is not always forced,circumstantial but also by choice .Do not take us lightly Yes I am also one of the torch bearers v with one son and ten fur babies.We are happy ,sometimes sadness may be there but is there anyone in the world who doesn’t get sad sometimes See that halo!Yes we are shining,Basking in the glory of parenthood ,who cares single or ……. :-)
(Credit:GoIndia.com)
Signing Off,
The Super Mom Representative
Nalini Srivastava
