Side effects of being a single mother,in a jocular vein :-)

Yes,I am a single mother,for almost last four years.No,no! my hubby is fine,truly a good soul,an absolute gentleman,but posted abroad.I am mom of a special needs child and when my hubby was posted abroad,I had just busied myself with my child,his meltdowns and therapies.Two years of stay in Pune did not really open me up and It was just doctors,therapists,my son and me.Till then I was stay at home,single mom.
Then I shifted to Lucknow,back to my home town.I am a hardcore Lucknowite.Totally protective and obsessed about my city and totally fearless here.The shell of my introversion which had been there  right from the moment I was born,started  cracking.Fighting for my child's rights became a habit extended to other special needs kids too And I resumed working after a gap of seven long years...Now I was a working single Mom  :-)
Working in a corporate company school started liberating me.My Principal became my mentor and the appreciation that I received started making me bold and confident.But the story takes a twist here.I am not going to talk about the sob tale of difficulties of managing a child alone....I am going to tell you about the other side effects of being a single mom,More so if she is in habit of staying alone with her child.
To day as I analyse, has my journey of last four years been too difficult? Yes,the first year I was like a fish out of water,Never been alone in my life and devoid of protection of my husband,I felt terribly lonely.But then I busied myself.My hubby gets full credit of being full moral support despite being so far.
But getting back my financial independence,made me a shopaholic.My old friends would faint if they read this.I was the "MAHA KANJOOS" biggest miser as they said.I believed in keeping my needs to minimum.I never regretted my simple lifestyle.
But now my confidence was demanding a makeover.From simple saris to stylish suits,to jeans and top,to long skirts and kurtis etc etc.
Add to that my craze for junk jewelry,matching one with everything I wear..My stock or rather in sophisticated term,my collection is increasing every passing day.So,Did you get clue to first side effect?
Yes woman becomes shopaholic when she doesn't have a hubby around to pamper.My hubby never stopped me from any shopping,It was me,who was never interested earlier.Now when I am depressed or upset I just shop,pamper myself and feel good again.
With my evolving life style and dressing style in particular,At home also I started changing.Before I write further,let me clarify that I never had conservative parents.Till Post graduation, at home I have worn midis,short skirts etc.But post that time,till a year back,It was always a demure salwar suits at home and stylish ones when Hubby would be visiting.But now,with liberated attire out of home made me feel need for change at home too.Ease of dressing and sense of ease and comfort changed my dressing style at home too.
 So the side effect is that woman may become too stylized and liberated,if left alone for too long.Now I dress for comfort and style both not just the drabbest used up "ghisi hui dresses"
You get used to not being answerable to anyone,since no elders or in laws are around.So now Me and my son are so used to enjoying our "WE" time that we look forward to it every day.I am always ready for an outing,may be just Ganjing,or a movie or a dinner date with my son.Though it is taking a toll on my waist line but still I enjoy that.So another Side effect-increased expenses of eating out,an introvert wife becoming an extrovert fun loving woman,Sometimes with expanding waist line but then smart woman lime ME know where and how to cut it down.
Biggest advantage,Getting up as late as possible on week ends.So now getting up early on week days is of course a compulsion and necessity but weekends,all alarms put on mute,I have a long date with my bed.A lazy woman......
So,my friends,you see being a single mom,like me ,is having loads of side effects.I am getting comfortable,too comfortable actually.So husbands,you can decide whether you want to bear those side effects in your life.Meanwhile You ponder,I am forwarding a copy to my husband too.;-)

Modern day teachers

"I feel so bored enacting things in front of bunch of little jokers".she said,other one said,"why can't they stay at home in vacations,haven't they already exhausted us in the day to day teaching?"I heard this conversation between two females, who were supposedly primary teachers.I was shocked and angry.I am a teacher too and I admit that it wasn't a profession of my choice.I always wanted to be a doctor.When I was in class tenth,I remember a friend of mine had expressed wish to be a teacher one day and many of us had said"oh!just because you can't be anything else,so you're opting to be a teacher!!!!"

When I couldn't clear my PMT entrances and after graduation my mom who was in hospital those days,she had literally emotionally blackmailed me to appear for B.Ed entrance test.I went for it,appeared for it left all reasoning based question with a hope that I will fail.But I got selected and got the best college in the city.That was the turning point while my training I realized that I liked to teach and there was no turning back.I have enjoyed my early 11 year long spell of teaching and I am loving it again when I have  resumed teaching.three years back.

So when I Heard these two talking like this I felt like shaking them up and asking why were they playing with the future of the future generation of our country.I firmly believe that teachers are born.You need certain innate qualities to be a teacher,rather to be an effective teacher.Love for teaching,love for students,patience,capacity to unlearn,learn and relearn every possible day,compassion,understanding and patience are just few of the qualities I can mention.

I may sound prejudiced but that's the reason that I respect very few male teachers.Male teachers are too busy earning their living through teaching and tutions and coachings to do justice on one to one basis.Then the humane connection,I feel that females are much more capable.You may choose to disagree.

Now that I am a champion of cause of Disability Rights I sorely miss dedicated teachers to this cause.Our government talk of Inclusive education but are our mainstream teachers really ready to include special needs kids in their neurotypical majority class.Sadly answer is "NO" I see it on day to day basis around me and It's frustrating.

I wish there was a way to ensure teachers were solely appointed when they really possessed aptitude to do justice to their students.

belated... Happy father's day

Yes I am missing you Papa.It has been ten years that I last spent father's day with you.Ten years of loss of my confidante and my best friend who had drifted apart in his last years.When i look at camaraderie of present generation with their parents but sadly the sense of respect seems to be lacking.I really feel like flaunting you my Papa,My Papa,who was my first best friend,my first male friend,with whom I was so open and so close to despite my introvert nature My papa was my first hero,and yes I did look for his qualities in my spouse.Imagine co-incidentally matched his day of birth and blood group too:-) Though not intentionally.

My papa was a self made man,he started working from age of 17 and when he had to stop working from age of 55 only due to his heart ailment,He lost all interest in life.I learnt the values of dignity of labour and hard working nature from him.In my real temperament the introvert one I am my papa personified.He was a real soft spoken person which sadly i lacked and that always irked him.Today I am trying to groom my son telling him importance of being soft spoken ,giving him example of my papa who earned respect for his nature and the pinpricks which i earn often due to my temper.

Life has indeed come a full circle.

Hi! Glad to be back.

Almost a year has passed and i have not been able to share my thoughts with you all on my blog.It says "What I Think"and it is not so that i didn't think anything all these days but rather I was so  preoccupied in thinking that I did not get time to pen down my thoughts.
First major reason was my book....my anthology of short stories.I was part of this anthology"Pluck Out The Heart".If you would have asked me if i will be publishing a collection of stories!! I would have said,"No Way".I still find myself predominantly a poet.It is a medium which is closer to my heart and I am a spontaneous poet.But then I sent a story,top a competition.Actually it was written almost 12 years back.one of my work,which saw ending,I still have 5 stories lying unfinished.Fortunately it got special mention and I got offer of writing along with a reputed writer.I chose the genre "dark"and she agreed and finally by November 2014 I had written 4 dark genre stories.Which finally got published and appreciated.
Secondly my job front was topsy turvy and finally by beginning of 2015 i was more settled overcoming all odds.Should i say that I have emerged a no-nonsense,bold and ambitious woman.I have learnt how to over come rejections.
the topic "rejection" amuses me because one reaction of even my besties when they hear m using the word rejection is their hush hush tone scolding me for discussing matters of heart on a public forum.How do I tell them,sense of rejection can be there from friends and family too.
In matters of heart,I am rather lucky.I have had my share of heartaches but once i settled in marriage,I got not only the most understanding spouse but also a lifetime friend.Well....so I simply feel amused when people credit my stress and low phases to matters of heart.
On that note,I am winding up here.promising to be back soon.
See ya.