Less than Perfect

Today when I was having my evening walk,iImet my neighbor,who asked me where was kabir.I told her that he was at home completing some drawings.She said I must be feeling good that I got some time alone.I didn't answer her,just smiled.She went on chatting and said I must be having a awful life.Now I was curious and asked her why she felt so?She seemed shocked that I was asking this.She said that the fact that kabir was not a normal child and I must be feeling awful that my son is not perfect as we all want our kids to be the best.I gave her a wide grin and told her that I didn't believe in perfection and the fact that kabir is a special child,less than perfect adds to the fact that he has a chance to grow everyday,against our expectations.Then in a little stern voice I asked her what did she mean by saying that kabir was not a normal child.!!Judging my change of mood ,she walked away without answering me.I pitied her as she didnt have the answer to my question.
Why do we all want our kids to be perfect,to be the best?Doesn't perfection means that there wud be no further growth ,isn't being best a relative term?If you ask me,I would hate to be perfect,as it would mean that now on my life will stagnate.And being best is definitely a momentary term.Can anyone be the best all the time?no,i don't think so.And what I didnt like most about what my neighbor said was the implication as if I was sacrificing my life before my son's imperfection and I should be unhappy about what my son was.any mother...ask any mother for her all of her kids are special,and just that one is lesser than the other doesn't imply that she would be loving that kid any lesser.So,in nut shell I would like to tell my neighbour and all those people who think that I am living a sad life and unhappy and discontent over my son's lack of perfection.I want to shake them out of their reverie and tell them in nno uncertain terms that I AM A VERY PROUD MOTHER AND I AM HAPPY ,VERY HAPPY AS MY SON NEVER CEASES TO SURPRIZE ME.I LOVE HIM THE WAY HE IS:-)

on being a special needs mom

How it feels to be a full time home maker and being a special needs mom?Well,it is overwhelming experience to be put mildly.Our duty hours run into 24*7,365 days ,life is hectic n full of hands on responsibilities.We develop extraordinary social interaction skills dealing with therapists,school authorities,doctors on day to day basis and fighting for space and respect our kids in this apathetic society. We develop fierce attitude and tempers shielding our special kids from being discriminated in our society,fighting for equal opportunities for them and struggling to get them their due rights which doesn't come easily to them.We become real jugglers fast gaining expertise in to balancing our lives,our relationships and our funds.We become specialized personal secretaries for our kids, managing appointments with medical professionals,therapy schedules,meetings with school staff,managing time for meeting with any support groups,if any or interacting with them on social networking sites and above all to find time for educating ourselves about the issues as here very truly "knowledge is strength".

Finance management becomes mandatory and we learn how to squeeze in various requirements in to our limited incomes.Belonging to a middle class family doesn't help at all.Balancing the expenses incurred on therapy,medications,good schooling,medical treatment expenses.providing good diet and yet to manage some savings for the future of kids is a real tough task.I still have to manage some good savings as every month some unexpected expenses come and savings get depleted.luckily or unluckily I don't have a second child else i would have been a dilemma of giving preference to whom.We are expected to be the"super moms" managing all the a fore said tasks,managing social relations and managing good mental and physical well being too.N ow that's what i call unachievable.My social relations have taken a backset because my priority remains my son.Moreover if i don't see an understanding behaviour coming my son's way ,i stop interacting all together.It has taken a toll on my expected social circle.To be honest I don't have any friends locally whom I visit regularly,my only outings are to doctor and therapists and my health is severely affected and has alarmed my physician and psychiatrist.I have told and retold by my doctors and counsellors to start thinking about myself and my life away from shadow of autism but i m simply unable to comply as my life begins and ends with thoughts of my son and my husband.I don't know how to relax and unwind.I am chronic patient of insomnia and haven't got enough sleep in last 5 year,

Home maker and special needs moms don't get the break they require and deserve and consequently I too develop sense of isolation so very often. when finally out in public, overburdened moms like me walk around with a lump in their throats because they feel angry and frustrated about the way people are reacting to their child or to their family as a whole. Feelings of inadequacy abound as it seems ‘the public’ is questioning their parenting skills.What we ask for? nothing more than an empathetic (not sympathetic,please note that)attitude towards us and sometimes sharing your valuable time and emotions with us making us feel that we are not fighting a lonely battle.we have company and trust me it does bring a smile on our face.:-)