Well,well well,the course of my life has been a combination of a kutchi pukki road,with its own offering of potholes and smooth rides.My childhood with its support of my parents towards my excellent education and no compulsion for getting married early was all a smooth ride for me but ofcourse with instances of friction with my younger brother and lack of sufficient support from my sister.My career was the best phase ,the Express way drive.Those 9 years of my life were the best years of my life when I got endless affection and recognition and all that I sowed then I am still reaping.In between these years though I faced few potholes where I survived emotional accidents and finally I met my prince charming at one of the resting stops .I decided to call it a day and decided to hault my journey on somewhere on the express high way and to settle somewhere near the pune city.Since then it has been again a kutchhi pukki road which you find anywhere and every where if you travel. in India.So,no complaints.I am enjoying the normal course of not so normal life.Who knows ,what future has in store for me.Journey hasn't ended yet....it has just reached the midway.....
Monday, June 25, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
On Father's Day....
On Father's Day this year,I would love to talk about my papa and kabir's papa both.I have not talked about my papa much in my blogs.But the fact is one of my first two best friends was my father,other was my dadi(grand mother).I was quite a loner in my childhood and for certain reasons didn't gt along well with my mom and my siblings....(today I find it hard to believe myself) .So the only people to whom I communicated at all were my father and my grand ma.My father was totally a self made man,all benefits of being son of freedom fighter parents connected to big shots of the time was taken by my uncle.My father started working at the age of 17....and worked till age of nearly 60 wen he got confined to bed after two heart attacks.
Many people,rather most of the people tell me that I look like my mother...if so thanx to her for my good lucks bt my broad forehead take after my papa and i am overall my papa's daughter.My nature and temperament take after my papa totally,for good or for bad.Basically I am an introvert and unsocial person like him.like him I prefer staying away from my relatives,like him, prefer staying at home and enjoying its cosy confines,relishing simple home made food.Like him I get along more with with oppositte sex and like him,I don't trust a soul....easily,till really want to.Like him,I have suffered heart breaks and like him nothing stops me from still committing blunders.Like he fell in love with my mom,and married her against all family pressures..(.yes,I guess love marriages run in my family because of him...:-))I too married Adi against his family wishes.I am a born romantic like my papa,and that papa used to say himself,though not very happily as he knew hw his failures are costing his family a lot and he didn't want me to inherit his traits and his failures in turn.
He had to leave education after graduation and he realised value of higher education so he always motivated me to go for higher education...and result is today I am double M.A(English literature and History),B.Ed,M.Phil and two professional courses-Diploma in mass co,and advanced diploma in creative writing....and thats yet not enough for me,I want to do course in special education and also do Ph.D.......One dream of his that I could not fulfill was being an I.A.S officer....so he told me that I shouldn't be content being a secondary school teacher but should teach in a college.He inculcated very high ambitions in me and there he sowed the seeds of rebellion in me....my mom is to be credited for my career and self dependent nature and my grand ma for my independent streak...After graduation,he wanted me to get married...studies could continue later....but by now I was used to success and power of knowledge,and I refused to marry that beginning of decay of our 20 year old friendship....He was shocked by my denial and gradually stopped talking to me much.Though he was proud of my successful career and my success as a teacher and thus my popularity,he wasn't happy.Iwas his eldest and dearest child and he was craving to see me married and settled...but i was just not ready to go for arranged marriage.....his genes of romanticism were taking shape in me and like a true romantic i was waiting for my prince charming.....
It was 9 may 2004...I met a decent ,very naive and as graceful a man I could ever imagine....within hours we were the best friends,he was from mumbai.....so it was a long distance friendship and within days ...I was head over heels in love with this man.he was Aditya,my future husband....it is said that first love of every daughter is her father.....thats very true....i saw glimpses of my father in aditya....and I respected him for what a good human being that he was ....we got married within months and till date I have never regretted my decision of marrying this wonderful malayali whom I hardly knew for months.....and I look forward to spending not just one but all my life times to come with him...After marriage,Aditya always supported my independent streak and hasn't been really happy with my decision to be full time home maker after birth of kabir....
Today papa is not there anymore.He died 7 years back....but he died a happy man as I had married by then.
Today I miss him when I want to just go chatty about my childhood.....I want to thank him for the sensitive and romantic soul that I am today.yes,I face lot of problems because of this but I prefer being this way......and because of my adoration for my father,I chose Aditya who is equally a sensitive,introvert man who respects people for their true worth.This father's day i share these moments of my beautiful memories with all those love me and care for me.
Many people,rather most of the people tell me that I look like my mother...if so thanx to her for my good lucks bt my broad forehead take after my papa and i am overall my papa's daughter.My nature and temperament take after my papa totally,for good or for bad.Basically I am an introvert and unsocial person like him.like him I prefer staying away from my relatives,like him, prefer staying at home and enjoying its cosy confines,relishing simple home made food.Like him I get along more with with oppositte sex and like him,I don't trust a soul....easily,till really want to.Like him,I have suffered heart breaks and like him nothing stops me from still committing blunders.Like he fell in love with my mom,and married her against all family pressures..(.yes,I guess love marriages run in my family because of him...:-))I too married Adi against his family wishes.I am a born romantic like my papa,and that papa used to say himself,though not very happily as he knew hw his failures are costing his family a lot and he didn't want me to inherit his traits and his failures in turn.
He had to leave education after graduation and he realised value of higher education so he always motivated me to go for higher education...and result is today I am double M.A(English literature and History),B.Ed,M.Phil and two professional courses-Diploma in mass co,and advanced diploma in creative writing....and thats yet not enough for me,I want to do course in special education and also do Ph.D.......One dream of his that I could not fulfill was being an I.A.S officer....so he told me that I shouldn't be content being a secondary school teacher but should teach in a college.He inculcated very high ambitions in me and there he sowed the seeds of rebellion in me....my mom is to be credited for my career and self dependent nature and my grand ma for my independent streak...After graduation,he wanted me to get married...studies could continue later....but by now I was used to success and power of knowledge,and I refused to marry that beginning of decay of our 20 year old friendship....He was shocked by my denial and gradually stopped talking to me much.Though he was proud of my successful career and my success as a teacher and thus my popularity,he wasn't happy.Iwas his eldest and dearest child and he was craving to see me married and settled...but i was just not ready to go for arranged marriage.....his genes of romanticism were taking shape in me and like a true romantic i was waiting for my prince charming.....
It was 9 may 2004...I met a decent ,very naive and as graceful a man I could ever imagine....within hours we were the best friends,he was from mumbai.....so it was a long distance friendship and within days ...I was head over heels in love with this man.he was Aditya,my future husband....it is said that first love of every daughter is her father.....thats very true....i saw glimpses of my father in aditya....and I respected him for what a good human being that he was ....we got married within months and till date I have never regretted my decision of marrying this wonderful malayali whom I hardly knew for months.....and I look forward to spending not just one but all my life times to come with him...After marriage,Aditya always supported my independent streak and hasn't been really happy with my decision to be full time home maker after birth of kabir....
Today papa is not there anymore.He died 7 years back....but he died a happy man as I had married by then.
Today I miss him when I want to just go chatty about my childhood.....I want to thank him for the sensitive and romantic soul that I am today.yes,I face lot of problems because of this but I prefer being this way......and because of my adoration for my father,I chose Aditya who is equally a sensitive,introvert man who respects people for their true worth.This father's day i share these moments of my beautiful memories with all those love me and care for me.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
MY FOUR WISHES FOR THE GENIE......
I am a dreamer since my childhood....Ialways read loads of fairy tales and belived in magic and dreams coming true.When I met my spouse it was almost like meeting my knight in shining armour who swept me off my feet...it was all so sudden,falling in love at the ripe age of 33 ,marrying at 34 and mother at 35....All was not well,though.my inlaws rejected me and my son both ....but I had a very supportive parental family,who were busy fighting their own demons but they stood by me through thick and thin.
My son kabir.my beautiful son with his twinkling eyes and sparking dimples...was my most prized possession...I couldn't take my eyes off him when I first took him in my hands....for me the dream extended and I thought like all fairy tales...it was going to be "they loved happily ever after"but here life taught me a lesson...dreams are dreams ,sometimes they do come true too ...but nothing and nobody remains happily everafter....
For two years ,I was living every moment through the eyes of my son...my in- laws were not well,so my husband was busy attending them,we were hardly meeting twice a week ,but I had no complaints...I had my son and I was basking in glory of his unravelling of various mile stones...he started speaking but his speech seized after calling "papa"...I waited and waited for him to respond to me ,the one who had sacrificed her blooming career to watch her son flourish day by day,moment by moment...some thing was wrong...he was suddenly very irritatble and was crying a lot.We took him to the Dr...She dropped the first bomb shell ,"may be he has a hearing problem"We took him for BERA TEST ....phew!!tests were normal...but a wise old woman dropped the second bomb shell"the way he cries and whines,he looks autistic"if she wudn't havebeen a old woman,I might have slapped her....I and my husband left the place in a terrible rage..".autism",no it wasn't possible...it can't happen to our only child...I cried and cried...
Then we went to the Developmental Paeditrician...who dropped the ultimate hydrogen bomb-:"kabir is mildly autistic and hyperactive too with delayed speech n poor hand motor skills."It was as if my dreams just shattered and I was not in position to pick even a single piece...as I had to hold onto my senses and my son who was a label now.
There on, it has been a journing of labour,discoveries and various types of therapies.I and kabir are very lucky that we got very supportive therapists who were professionals as well as caring individuals who even trained me into finer parenting skills and the journey is on.....
I have drifted a lot from the topic but let me tell you all that I have not stopped being a dreamer...as I firmly believe that "those who dare to dream,fulfill their dreams too" So,now I have four wishes to ask the proverbial "Genie" to grant my four wishes...
Firstly he should send back my husband to be with us as kabir really misses him,he is missing the love and discipline of a father.I firmly believe boys need fathers to grow up to be a good humanbeing and a sturdy male of a decent character....when kabir wants to play sports...and he looks at me for guidance ,I am clueless as i hate sports...bt his father is into so many of them so,i am visualizing my husband and kabir playing on a big playground with all the hulla bullo,and I would be seated amongst the cheering groups,thats the least I can do:-)
Secondly,i want kabir to be accepted as equal by his peer group and people he interacts with.He is a loving,affectionate boy who refuses to accept rejection and that fuels his everyday aggression bouts which I bear....may God give me strength to train him so well into human virtues and patience that he learns to accept what he gets,but change it by his charming manners and attributes...I m wrking and I have to work very hard on this so I need countless strength and patience to keep up my cool and continue my work on kabir.I have got wonderful therapists and doctors here for him.May their support and guidance continue the same way.
Thirdly,I wish that kabir has all the facilities that we need for helping him for his wholesome development and to help him live his life to the fullest extent.Right now kabir lacks good friends...he is living life through the eyes of his mature companions and I dont want him to lose his innocence in the process..So O' Lord please grant him some true and caring friends who can stop him from living in his make believe world.I pray that kabir is cared for all his life ,by his parents till we keep alive,his immediate family and above all ,may he have a loving circle of friends who will guide him and support him when we won't be there anymore to offer our hands to guide him.
And lastly, I want him to develop into a caring and honest human being who would be an asset to the society. He must be financially independent and self dependent.He shouln't change from what he is today.I love his passion for life and zest for living and his smiling affectionate gestures.I love you my son and remember its our hard work that will guide genie into fulfilling our wishes...:-)
My son kabir.my beautiful son with his twinkling eyes and sparking dimples...was my most prized possession...I couldn't take my eyes off him when I first took him in my hands....for me the dream extended and I thought like all fairy tales...it was going to be "they loved happily ever after"but here life taught me a lesson...dreams are dreams ,sometimes they do come true too ...but nothing and nobody remains happily everafter....
For two years ,I was living every moment through the eyes of my son...my in- laws were not well,so my husband was busy attending them,we were hardly meeting twice a week ,but I had no complaints...I had my son and I was basking in glory of his unravelling of various mile stones...he started speaking but his speech seized after calling "papa"...I waited and waited for him to respond to me ,the one who had sacrificed her blooming career to watch her son flourish day by day,moment by moment...some thing was wrong...he was suddenly very irritatble and was crying a lot.We took him to the Dr...She dropped the first bomb shell ,"may be he has a hearing problem"We took him for BERA TEST ....phew!!tests were normal...but a wise old woman dropped the second bomb shell"the way he cries and whines,he looks autistic"if she wudn't havebeen a old woman,I might have slapped her....I and my husband left the place in a terrible rage..".autism",no it wasn't possible...it can't happen to our only child...I cried and cried...
Then we went to the Developmental Paeditrician...who dropped the ultimate hydrogen bomb-:"kabir is mildly autistic and hyperactive too with delayed speech n poor hand motor skills."It was as if my dreams just shattered and I was not in position to pick even a single piece...as I had to hold onto my senses and my son who was a label now.
There on, it has been a journing of labour,discoveries and various types of therapies.I and kabir are very lucky that we got very supportive therapists who were professionals as well as caring individuals who even trained me into finer parenting skills and the journey is on.....
I have drifted a lot from the topic but let me tell you all that I have not stopped being a dreamer...as I firmly believe that "those who dare to dream,fulfill their dreams too" So,now I have four wishes to ask the proverbial "Genie" to grant my four wishes...
Firstly he should send back my husband to be with us as kabir really misses him,he is missing the love and discipline of a father.I firmly believe boys need fathers to grow up to be a good humanbeing and a sturdy male of a decent character....when kabir wants to play sports...and he looks at me for guidance ,I am clueless as i hate sports...bt his father is into so many of them so,i am visualizing my husband and kabir playing on a big playground with all the hulla bullo,and I would be seated amongst the cheering groups,thats the least I can do:-)
Secondly,i want kabir to be accepted as equal by his peer group and people he interacts with.He is a loving,affectionate boy who refuses to accept rejection and that fuels his everyday aggression bouts which I bear....may God give me strength to train him so well into human virtues and patience that he learns to accept what he gets,but change it by his charming manners and attributes...I m wrking and I have to work very hard on this so I need countless strength and patience to keep up my cool and continue my work on kabir.I have got wonderful therapists and doctors here for him.May their support and guidance continue the same way.
Thirdly,I wish that kabir has all the facilities that we need for helping him for his wholesome development and to help him live his life to the fullest extent.Right now kabir lacks good friends...he is living life through the eyes of his mature companions and I dont want him to lose his innocence in the process..So O' Lord please grant him some true and caring friends who can stop him from living in his make believe world.I pray that kabir is cared for all his life ,by his parents till we keep alive,his immediate family and above all ,may he have a loving circle of friends who will guide him and support him when we won't be there anymore to offer our hands to guide him.
And lastly, I want him to develop into a caring and honest human being who would be an asset to the society. He must be financially independent and self dependent.He shouln't change from what he is today.I love his passion for life and zest for living and his smiling affectionate gestures.I love you my son and remember its our hard work that will guide genie into fulfilling our wishes...:-)
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