My friends and people close to me know I am a die-hard romantic who loves to see life through rose colored spectacles.I am a die hard optimist too,believing that one day everything will come around and every thing will be sorted out.Born as the eldest one out of my siblings and being introvert by nature,I didn't know how to wriggle out of responsibilities or to rebel against the limitations and restrictions,as I always believed that"whatever happens,happens for the Good".I have no regrets except that being introvert I lost out on valuable fun time wid my brother and sister.They knew how to live life with maximum fun.But it didn't mean that I didn't love my family.I loved them very much and when they didn't understand what I felt for them it really hurt me.That's the problem of loving people.
That is the problem called love.That's the problem of not being able to remain detached.That is the problem of expecting something out of every relation where we invest time,energy and especially our emotions.Since child hood I have been the typical senti type.Getting too attached to people I liked and being honest and loyal towards them.But was it always rewarded back the same way ? No.Did it stop me from loving them? o.Then I shouldn't be complaining....Thats where being optimist comes.Every time some one would hurt me I would shed few tears and be back to them the very next day.Would you believe that I only had one best friend throughout my school n college life.And here was the big fact that for me she was my best and only friend but I wasn't the same for her.She was beautiful,and she was popular.I sometimes felt that I was just one of her countless admirers.She is still precious to me but she hardly reverts back to me in years.
I am not writing this entry to list out my complaints against people who used me as their emotional anchor whenever they needed me and then walked over me making me feel like a doormat.It hass happened time and again.And here is why that now I called love as a problem.It makes you weak .It makes you dependent.You crave for things and people who simply don't belong to you.I keep learning this lesson every other day and what it is doing to me....It is making me cynical and skeptical.Some where I have become cold hearted but that still does not stop me from loving people who love me,who care for me.Because I know what it means to have unrequited love.And please don't take the word "love" in only usual sense when I use it here,I mean it as it encompasses all of us-the human being through myriad emotions and all possible sort of relations.At the end of the day,it all boils down to one basic fact-we are humans,the only creations of God who know how to love and express it the way we care for people.May be I look at every new person coming into my life with question mark in my mind but then who said being human was easy.life never promised to be easy and so at the end of the day if love is a problem,a difficult problem ,so be it,it adds a dash of spice to our life.Lets learn how to enjoy it and savor it.
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