When an introvert changes into an extrovert

Hi there all introverts!
I  can see frowns on so many foreheads who read the title.I can already imagine so many deadly and fatal  glances ...Ah!If only looks could kill.I know you having a one sided dialogue

"Wow!I mean seriously !She says when an introvert becomes an extrovert! She doesn't even know that an introvert enjoys heavenly bliss of silence,the security of one's own shell so much that they never even think of becoming an extrovert."

Another one goes,"Oh!my thoughts are so precious, who even wants to share with others!Never!"

See ,I guessed your objections and thoughts so well.Yes,because I am also an introvert but in this worldly world I have learnt to be so very chatter box in their presence that they won't believe even  if I ,myself tell them that I  prefer my own silence .Tried and tested.

That is the advantage if this noisy exterior that I get to enjoy the solace of my own company by my choice instead of being forced to 'enjoy' the noisy din in my own personal moments.

I can hear,"But you just used the word 'enjoy'!How can you say so?"

Yes ! That was my typical dark humour.But,come on!How can you all misunderstand me for something we introverts excel...our sarcasm with a deadly smile!

Oops!I was digressing .That is what happens when a silence loving ,mental monologue expert gets verbal.Oh! I  so hate having to explain myself.Don't we all do!

You may wonder, if I hate explanations so much ,why am I even attempting that!Well,just to give you all very precious inside view into my world.
I was a simmering dormant volcano ever since teens but the not so apparent one.I remember my parents banging their foreheads in the closed doors of my study, where I would seek refuge whenever they tried to have a conversation with me.
You know what !I love the concept of 'Kopebhawan' of Queen Kaikeyi as mentioned in Ramayana.It literally meant The room where the queen would go whenever she got angry and wait there for the king to come there and appease her.
Only difference I make there is to spell it as ,'Cope-bhawan"The room where I would hide from all humdrum and din.

And then many years later I became a teacher.And I mastered art of mixing,socialising and talking-the so called extrovert.Now I talk and talk and talk when in company  and then I realise that I am the one dominating the conversation.The other person/people staying silent,Out of respect?or admiration? or simply having no choice.
I can see the interest in the eyes of readers..waiting to know more.
Here I flash my smile.
Comeon,did you forget I am an introvert.Rest I will share in my thoughts in silence....😈😈

Effects of aging or just the sense of nostalgia

I am 48 .I may not look or feel 48 ,but I am.Gradually I have started to accept the reality of 2 minus 50,the phrase given by my 13 year old son.He never fails to remind me,the blunt speaker that he is being on the autism spectrum. Recently he has probably realized the fact that I don't like the fact that I am 48,he adds  " ....but you don't look,so age is a mere number...and for me you will always remain most beautiful woman of the world"

Recently I  am often lost in thoughts of my young age childhood to be precise.Most people who were best part of my childhood a are gone,be it my father,my grand mother,my Badi Mummy,Bade Papa ,Masi,,,..Thankfully my mom is there..Still I  am often lost in thoughts of my childhood.Surprisingly my childhood was not very celebratory kind,reason being my own introvert nature.yet I miss my childhood.All the more for past 2 months.Nothing special happened except my decision of leaving India.

Phew!!A year passed...before I continued my blog.In humdrum of life,my writing especially prose always takes back seat.Thankfully with poetry I am much faster .Maybe poetry comes more naturally to me.For prose I need more concentration,a certain mood etc etc etc.This is COVID19 time and I don't think anyone anticipated the lock down life that we all are living globally,courtesy this pandemic.But the train of my nostalgic thoughts hasn't stopped or even slowed down.Currently being at home all the time ,working from home has given a workaholic even more time to ponder.

Now I am 50-1 i.e.49 years old less than a year away from the golden 50.In a year's time I have accepted aging,the fact that I am not a young 25-30 anymore.People dream of remaining sweet sixteen but I always feel like continuing in my early thirties.May be because I got best of companions and things in my thirties.As i got plenty of time to clean my home,I got to lay ,my hands on precious memorabilia. My class 6 to class 11 school report cards,my early poems,old pictures etc..Few things eaten by termites made me cry and realize that termites are nothing but lessons of ;life that destroy you if you fail to take notice of them and learn of them.


This journey will continue but right now I am glowing in sense of pride for my son.