“TUM SANG-A Journey of Togetherness In Verse”

In these two years 2020 and 2021,enough stress worries,concerns, trials and tribulations,the world has witnessed.We humans are falling short of faith in human  relationships, love, and kindness.Family system,marriages are turbulent and shaky,whether it is being at home full time with your spouse or stuck in long distance relationships due to being stuck in different cities and countries due to lock-downs.In these times I would recommend something for all my readers to read.But before that let me tell you a story.

There was a man, tall, fair and bespectacled. There was a woman, short, dusky and doe eyed. They were in late twenties, unmarried and settled in their respective careers. Then they met through a common friend. From being friends, they moved to falling in love and then they married. Their life began from a fairy tale wedded bliss, against all the odds, Then...Well I won’t tell the entire story..This story will be best felt when read through the lines of verses written by Nalini Srivastava in an anthology of poems very suitably titled “Tum Sang”, published by Express Publications..

Check out NaliniSrivastava on this link.

People always feel that poems and stories are inspired from the poets and writers' own life .Nalini says,”It may or may not be inspired.People should stop labeling the works and just enjoy the work as a creative work-piece.”

I.would share the views of famous blogger Rashmi Malapur Jaswal to give you an insight into the book..

“तुम संग पुस्तक परिचय  -यह कविताओं का संग्रह कुछ ख़ास हैं,क्यूँकि यह हमारी ज़िन्दगी के सबसे एहम पहलू पर गौर करती हैं -वह पहलू हैं  'रिश्ते ' कभी कभी हम यह सोचने पर मजबूर हो जाते हैं कि रिश्तों में हम सब कुछ भूल कर,क्या किसी और को चाहें ,क्या यह उचित है?खुद्दारी और ख़ुदाई को भूल कर हम किसी में समा ही जाएं?पर रिश्तों में हिसाब किताब नहीं होता,बेहिसाब प्यार करें किसी  को क्या यही ठीक है?

कितनी ख़ूबसूरती से नलिनी रिश्तों के हर पहलू  पर गौर करती हैं ,आसान शब्दोँ में लिखी उनकी कवितायेँ दिल को छू जाती हैं। मैं नलिनी के लेखन को इसलिए पसंद करती हूँ की वह हमारी रूह तक पहुँचती हैं और हर कविता को दिल से सँजोती हैं।  

यह कविता संग्रह हर दिल को गहराई  तक छू  जाएगी और रिश्तों की अहमियत फिर से याद दिला जाएगी। यह सच है हम सब रिश्तों से बंधे हैं पर सब रिश्तों के परे नलिनी अपने आप से एक रिश्ता कायम करके, सब से अलग खुद् को पाकर हम सबके दिल को छू जाती हैं। 

नलिनी जितनी खूबसूरत कवितायेँ अंग्रेजी में लिखती हैं  उतनी ही उम्दा हिंदी में भी लिखती हैं,हालाँकि अक्सर उर्दू का प्रभाव भी हम देखते हैं ,जो की स्वाभाविक है क्यूंकि वो लखनऊ की निवासी हैं। यह उर्दू उनकी कविताओं को और खूबसूरत बनाती हैं। 

“सधन्यवाद एवं सादर। 

रश्मि मलापुर जसवाल 

ब्लॉगर ,कवि एवं लेखिका 

Blog: Travel Beyond Words

www.researcheye.wordpress.com 

Translation-Tum Sang  collection of poems is special as it focuses upon the most important aspect of our life-human relations.Sometimes we are forced to think if it is appropriate to forget everything else when we fall in love!Forgetting even Honesty and the Almighty ,a lover tends to merge his/her own identity too….Nalini tends to cover all aspects of human relations beautifully.Using simple language she touches upon the chords of heart and inner depths of soul.This poetry anthology will make you think and understand the importance of human relations.This is true that we all are tied up willingly or unwillingly in human relationships but Nalini makes a unique relationship with herself and it is definitely very heartwarming. Nalini writes beautiful English verses and she is even better in Hindi.There is lot of Urdu influence in her works and it makes her poems even more beautiful and appealing.

-Rashmi Malapur Jaswal

(Blogger,Poet and Writer)

So my readers pick up the phone ad order it.We all may or not be poetry fan but we all adore emotions and Tum Sang appeals directly to your heart.

Happy Reading

                          Beware! the Single Moms Are Here to Claim Their Due

               

    

  (Credit:Indian single mother page;Facebook)

Oh! You are a single mother! Tch! Tch! Chuckles their  mental voice. The smile is replaced by a frown and a look of sympathy. I feel like either banging their head or hammering out their mentality, else making them vanish. Why do people assume that being a single mother is a curse or even a sin and such mothers are the sinners! I have met countless people with varied backgrounds and personalities but sadly the similar response. Not just in India but also abroad. It is truly a global family mindset, male and females alike but more so among males.

Aha! Did I confuse you? Did you think that here one more goes on ga, ga, ga about woman empowerment! No. I am not among those. But before I enlighten you further, let me elaborate,”What a single mother is in my view.” A mother who is carrying on the job of parenting alone, where due to death of spouse, separation or divorce or when the other partner is an absentee parent. Now here with the use of the term absentee parent and a concept of being a single mom is by choice, is where I push through my idea of the sunny side of being a single mother in today’s time and how powerful they can be.

A woman can be a single mother by choice too.

https://www.thehindu.com/society/meet-the-choice-mothers-single-women-whove-opted-for-parenthood-without-a-partner/article29920954.ece  

Yes, If a woman decides to shoulder the responsibility of bringing up the child/children single handedly, sharing or not sharing the financial responsibility with the spouse. The responsibility of finance is not the only part of parenting.Daily, moment by moment a parent grooms the child. The habits, personality, manners, values, beliefs, physical, mental, psychological, moral well being….everything matters especially when it is so easy to get distracted. The stakes are too high and rewards hardly any except the satisfaction and yes! It matters. The woman who takes responsibility here is not doing a mean task. She is more powerful than a CEO of a MNC but she can’t shine too bright for the fear that the child may wilt and she cannot be too adjusting else what is at stake is not an industry but a future and all the associated futures.

It is walking a thin line, being prepared for all the blames and the brickbats yet not expecting any accolades not even recognition. Her success and victory is the success of the child/children. While I say this,  I am not trying to glorify the single mothers and they may or may not sacrifice the worldly comforts and their ambitions. Whatever may be the situation or circumstances that may create or lead to single motherhood ,having ambitions makes the job even more taxing and tricky but the females take on the task, happily or unhappily, most often not being left with the choice. But if the partner willingly or unwillingly takes one responsibility and the other, another one, the job and the responsibilities both are demanding ,exhausting yet satisfying.

 

                                       (Credit:Surviving as a single parent-Parents.com)

If the Queen of Jhansi https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rani_of_Jhansi could fight a battle for liberation of Jhansi against the huge British army while carrying Damodar Rao, a baby on her back this contemporary life is no less than this that real battle, just the demands are varied, reasons are variable and the weapons are abstract, virtual ,evolving constantly and energy sapping .

 We have become demanding not just for others but for ourselves too. And imagine while a mom can be patting her back in thoughts and spirits, celebrating every little achievement or /and accomplishments and then that frown or the look  in the eyes of the opponent crashes her morale or on the other side she may take out that invisible dagger or the boxing gloves to deliver a knockout punch.

So stop pitying the single mothers.It is not always forced,circumstantial but also by choice .Do not take us lightly  Yes I am also one of the torch bearers v with one son and ten fur babies.We are happy ,sometimes sadness may be there but is there anyone in the world who doesn’t get sad sometimes See that halo!Yes we are shining,Basking in the glory of parenthood ,who cares single or ……. :-)

(Credit:GoIndia.com)

Signing Off,

The Super Mom Representative

Nalini Srivastava

With another lockdown around the corner sharing a piece of writeup I did in 2020

 

The lockdown and the world of special needs parents and children

March 25, 2020, the lockdown was announced. My son who was in between his class 8 exams was bored of preparing and revising for his indefinitely postponed final exams. His only comfort was his evening cricket time with his friend. Earlier it was friends but ever since news of COVID19 was pouring in, I had told him not to play in group, just his best cricket mate was allowed since Holi.

Before I narrate further, let me brief you about my son. Kabir, my only son will soon be 14.Hw was diagnosed first with Aspergers and finally with moderate autism spectrum. That was the year 2013.His main issues are sensory which I have trained him to manage .He goes to a mainstream school and he always has been a hyperactive child. He learnt how to tie laces in 2017.His handwriting is a proof of his late developed fine motor skills. He is good in studies and loves to cuddle and kiss and hug me. His therapists say it is his sensory need. I am training him how to be less demonstrative in public. Since he has endless energy he found his way out in sports. He demolished my drawing room left wall teaching himself cricket. Of course I made him join proper cricket academy for his practice, to save rest of my home! Since 2018 he has been part of a local college under14 cricket team. He also plays basketball, table tennis, football, kabaddi etc.

So now with this background ,you all may better understand what happened when I told him that he cannot go out of house and specially he can’t play with his friends. WHAT! WHY?????? And then long sulking silence. The afternoon passed onto evening. The glares, frowns and more silence. Finally I shake him and ask him to speak something .Angry, teary eyed frustrating silence and just monosyllabic ‘NO’.I and Kabir have a tradition of writing down our feelings whenever we can’t talk it out. Since my husband is often on tours, I and Kabir are each other’s constant companion, sharing our highs and lows of emotions. I took out my laptop and put it in his lap to type out and vent out his annoyance. He did, we both felt better and we sat down to work out other ways to burn his endless energy.

Now he has worked out a proper work out exercise schedule. He shares the list of work outs he is doing, squats etc which I patiently listen to. He also spends practicing his dance moves which he is learning on his own. He is allowed some instagram and twitter time. And of course he has his class 9 online classes daily and associated homework. Thankfully one part has been sorted. My smiling, cuddling son is back. I recently turned 49 and he made the day special. We parents can’t expect a smooth life. I have a new problem staring at me. He hates his online English classes. I do teach him at home as English is my own subject. But I cannot get his English teacher changed. Any suggestions!

-Nalini Srivastava @Naliniharish

 

SHARING HISTORY OF AUTISM ON AUTISM AWARENESS DAY

 Sharing from wall of Dr Madhurika

History of Autism

From the early 1900s, autism has referred to a range of neuro-psychological conditions. But where did the term come from, and how has knowledge about autism changed? Read on to learn about the history and the current understanding of this challenging condition.

Where Did the Term "Autism" Come From?

The word "autism" comes from the Greek word "autos," which means "self." It describes conditions in which a person is removed from social interaction. In other words, he becomes an “isolated self.”

Eugen Bleuler, a Swiss psychiatrist, was the first person to use the term. He started using it around 1911 to refer to one group of symptoms related to schizophrenia.

In the 1940s, researchers in the United States began to use “autism” to describe children with emotional or social problems. Leo Kanner, a doctor from Johns Hopkins University, used it to explain the behavior of several children he studied who acted withdrawn.

When an introvert changes into an extrovert

Hi there all introverts!
I  can see frowns on so many foreheads who read the title.I can already imagine so many deadly and fatal  glances ...Ah!If only looks could kill.I know you having a one sided dialogue

"Wow!I mean seriously !She says when an introvert becomes an extrovert! She doesn't even know that an introvert enjoys heavenly bliss of silence,the security of one's own shell so much that they never even think of becoming an extrovert."

Another one goes,"Oh!my thoughts are so precious, who even wants to share with others!Never!"

See ,I guessed your objections and thoughts so well.Yes,because I am also an introvert but in this worldly world I have learnt to be so very chatter box in their presence that they won't believe even  if I ,myself tell them that I  prefer my own silence .Tried and tested.

That is the advantage if this noisy exterior that I get to enjoy the solace of my own company by my choice instead of being forced to 'enjoy' the noisy din in my own personal moments.

I can hear,"But you just used the word 'enjoy'!How can you say so?"

Yes ! That was my typical dark humour.But,come on!How can you all misunderstand me for something we introverts excel...our sarcasm with a deadly smile!

Oops!I was digressing .That is what happens when a silence loving ,mental monologue expert gets verbal.Oh! I  so hate having to explain myself.Don't we all do!

You may wonder, if I hate explanations so much ,why am I even attempting that!Well,just to give you all very precious inside view into my world.
I was a simmering dormant volcano ever since teens but the not so apparent one.I remember my parents banging their foreheads in the closed doors of my study, where I would seek refuge whenever they tried to have a conversation with me.
You know what !I love the concept of 'Kopebhawan' of Queen Kaikeyi as mentioned in Ramayana.It literally meant The room where the queen would go whenever she got angry and wait there for the king to come there and appease her.
Only difference I make there is to spell it as ,'Cope-bhawan"The room where I would hide from all humdrum and din.

And then many years later I became a teacher.And I mastered art of mixing,socialising and talking-the so called extrovert.Now I talk and talk and talk when in company  and then I realise that I am the one dominating the conversation.The other person/people staying silent,Out of respect?or admiration? or simply having no choice.
I can see the interest in the eyes of readers..waiting to know more.
Here I flash my smile.
Comeon,did you forget I am an introvert.Rest I will share in my thoughts in silence....😈😈

Effects of aging or just the sense of nostalgia

I am 48 .I may not look or feel 48 ,but I am.Gradually I have started to accept the reality of 2 minus 50,the phrase given by my 13 year old son.He never fails to remind me,the blunt speaker that he is being on the autism spectrum. Recently he has probably realized the fact that I don't like the fact that I am 48,he adds  " ....but you don't look,so age is a mere number...and for me you will always remain most beautiful woman of the world"

Recently I  am often lost in thoughts of my young age childhood to be precise.Most people who were best part of my childhood a are gone,be it my father,my grand mother,my Badi Mummy,Bade Papa ,Masi,,,..Thankfully my mom is there..Still I  am often lost in thoughts of my childhood.Surprisingly my childhood was not very celebratory kind,reason being my own introvert nature.yet I miss my childhood.All the more for past 2 months.Nothing special happened except my decision of leaving India.

Phew!!A year passed...before I continued my blog.In humdrum of life,my writing especially prose always takes back seat.Thankfully with poetry I am much faster .Maybe poetry comes more naturally to me.For prose I need more concentration,a certain mood etc etc etc.This is COVID19 time and I don't think anyone anticipated the lock down life that we all are living globally,courtesy this pandemic.But the train of my nostalgic thoughts hasn't stopped or even slowed down.Currently being at home all the time ,working from home has given a workaholic even more time to ponder.

Now I am 50-1 i.e.49 years old less than a year away from the golden 50.In a year's time I have accepted aging,the fact that I am not a young 25-30 anymore.People dream of remaining sweet sixteen but I always feel like continuing in my early thirties.May be because I got best of companions and things in my thirties.As i got plenty of time to clean my home,I got to lay ,my hands on precious memorabilia. My class 6 to class 11 school report cards,my early poems,old pictures etc..Few things eaten by termites made me cry and realize that termites are nothing but lessons of ;life that destroy you if you fail to take notice of them and learn of them.


This journey will continue but right now I am glowing in sense of pride for my son.

Thanks to you my son

Thanks to you my son Kabir I celebrated 12th Mother's day today. Till you came ,Mother's Day was a day when I just looked up to my mumma and wondered how to make it special and I wondered what would happen to me in future .Even though I had  no plans of marriage, yes I looked up to this day .When I will have my daughter, the adopted daughter and then I would show her what being a good mother is and I always always hoped that I would set an ideal even at that instance i had that motherly instincts probably that's I love to Pamper. I love being looked up to probably that's why I love teaching also and indirectly I become their mom ,the one who pampers ,the one who guides, the one who scolds and when I scold them it is that mom instinct in me which does not want her children to go wrong or children to choose a wrong path and so I automatically assume I got that right to scold them ,to hand hold them, to guide them on the right path .Today you know ! I got so many so many wishes from my students and it felt good but ultimately it's you who makes my day special .Even though we didn't go out, we didn't really watch a movie,or roam around  and didn't do Window shopping,the  usual things that we love to do together .Thanks to you that you are there for all my habits but still it being a Sunday and I could spend some real quality time with you and after so so many occasions finally  you decided that ok! you want to make a card for me and you made, attempted a beautiful one but as I am at heart a teacher I found some errors in your drawing and you did not like it and your mood was spoiled.I'm so sorry so so sorry.Kabir thanks for coming into my life .I am just sharing my random thoughts with you ,my son .I really look up to every day that would unfold in days to come ,moments to come ,years to come months to come ,weeks to come ,because I live for you .I live my life through you. I am there for you and you only ,that's the reason that even when you are all grown up and when I grow old and I have left  this world, ever I do not want salvation. I want to be around you just to make sure you are there happy ,secure and safe .So happy Son's day ,my son because without you it wouldn't be a happy mother's ay for me. love you...